The dining room of the Green Monster. Note the beautiful color, with coordinating border. The border is now gone, and the walls are soon to be painted a traditional Dove White (a Benjamin Moore color).

While it is my intention to avoid extravagant changes to the GM, I do not want to use substandard products. Benjamin Moore paints are among the best, and seem to be the choice of most professional painters. The paint wears well, is scrubable, and can hold up under the wear and tear that comes from little kids. I also want to draw your attention to the replacement windows and the dark wood casings. What makes this such an egregious decorating don't is that the solution was so simple. A little Ben Moore Satin Impervo and the windows wouldn't look like such an afterthought.

This room was the pick of the litter. The hardwood floors are freshly refinished; and, apart from a few drywall screws in the walls to hang pictures (!?!), the walls are in good shape.

Other walls in the house, which are horse hair plaster, have gouges, cracks, and holes. One of the rooms had a carpet which smelled like urine, mainly because it was stained with urine. Since this medium doesn't convey the true pain I felt removing the carpet (which has been entered in Urine Fest 2006), I have devised the following equation to help you understand: The Worst Mens' Room You Have Ever Been In + Kenmore Square T Station After a Red Sox Game/Urine Sample = The Smell in the Bedroom Carpet.

The carpet pad had a thin layer of dust on it, and the floor underneath also had a layer of dust. The amazing thing is that 21st Century Technology has a means of cleaning such a room. It is sold under the brand name "Hoover" and it makes a loud noise when you plug it into a wall socket and turn on the switch.

The same room had close to fifty (50) used Q-Tips under the radiator. They may have been thrown at a nearby garbage can, or they may have been near the radiator to melt the wax in order to make candles. Either way, removal of the offending swabs was a project that required gloves, a mask, and a two-hour shower afterward.

Oh, and I also found $0.53 in the miasma. At least I am making money on this house.

Lesson Number One in the selling of a house: Clean it.